When Guido's Attack

When Guido's attack!!! I'm too sexy for my hair gel. All of this tanning has burned my retinas.  Where's the camera? Who knew that Oompa Loompas and vampires could be friends? Tan hedgehogs looking for some lovin'. Tanning Gone Wild!! For some reason, the guy in the pink gives me the urge to sweep the floor. The hotel double-booked the body building and hairdressing conventions. Superguido!! Maybe if I hold this pack of cigarettes, I can fool the girls on Craigslist into thinking I'm old enough to drive. Let's try the same thing with a bottle of Grey Goose. Hurry up Joey! Take the f*cking picture before the owner sees me posing with his car. Hair-too-heavy. Can't-hold-up-head. Does this color even exist in nature? Crayola needs a new crayon, "Long Island Guido Orange." Single ladies, take your pick. He had to buy all new shirts because he ripped his old ones on his hair. I am very rarely speechless. This is one of those moments. _________________________________________________________________

--
-Jason