Jet Skis Aren't For Everyone

Great Story

In 1986, Mike Milligan was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mike approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Mike worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Mike stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
Mike never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Mike was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.
As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mike and his son Tom were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Mike, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mike couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Mike summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mike' s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Another Chinese toy recall

How cute!

AWE, it's a militant squirrel!

This Woman was Banned from the Nail Salon

The sickest thing I've seen in a while.  I just threw up in my mouth a little bit!

Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina answers a question

this is the transcript

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the US should help the US, uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for our children.”

Free Coffee...What the hell

The New Bar!!!

It's done!!! The bar is built and decorated.... The 80's party will be in the apartment!

OMG It's gettin hot in herr!

Yes that is the main public library in downtown Cincinnati. I was sent this by a friend who captured this while walking in the downtown!

CHINESE VIRGINS

A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin.
Truth be told, he
is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the
sheets as her husband
undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next
to her and tries to
be reassuring.

"My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you firs time
and you berry
frighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you
want, I do anyting -
juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?"
he says, trying to
sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will
impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently
(and eagerly) for
her request. She eventually shyly whispers back, "I
want try something I
hear about from other girl... Numbaa 69."

More thoughtful silence, this time from him.
Eventually, in a puzzled
tone he asks her...

"You want... Garlic Chicken with Caurifrowa?"

If I could turn back time....

Start the cliché accompaniment using the Music Player to the right :)

Progression through time.... the first image is from oh like 1985 and the last picture is from my senior year of college 2002 and on to 2005. I look the same now!

Ok ok I'm reminiscing

Oh how the years go by...

2007 - 1998

WOW, look at those locks of hair!!!

Sorry the image isn't the best...it was taken from the TV screen, but wow I was 18 years old and looked about 15.... so now that I'm 28 I look about 18 right??!

Again start the cliché accompaniment using the Music Player to the right!

Betty! The cutest miniature greyhound ever.

Happy Birthday to me!

So as a gift to myself I started my new job yesterday (farewell AIG!) I miss 'lil Tina but AIG was really the worst company I've ever seen when it comes to management and organization. So now I call Macy's home. I work at the corporate offices (1/2 block away from home) in the risk mgmt. department. Anyway the card pictured above was on my desk this morning signed by all 5 department managers! At AIG we had to force the manager's to get involved w/our birthday fund and buy the cakes w/our money. My main boss bought cupcakes for the department today and no one had to contribute. Anyway, I hope I've found a place to stay for a while, because even though the people are great starting a new job SUCKS!!! Wish me luck1

-Jason

Our boys!

The boys are friends now and Gizmo was his nameO

This is why I heart Middletown

My friend Kelli sent me this today from Middeltown, Ohio. Yes that's a Geo Tracker with a Miller Lite umbrella trying to keep the rain out! How great is that!

Catholic Schoolgirls

A train hits a bus load of Catholic schoolgirls and they all perish.They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter. St. Peter asks the first girl, "Jessica, have you ever had any contact with a penis?"She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate." St.Peter asks the next girl the same question,"Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a penis?"  The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says, "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls; one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line, girls are being shoved
and pushed. When the girl reaches the front of the line St. Peter says,
"Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"  The girl replies, "If I'm going to  ave to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Tiffany sticks her ass in it."

The funniest 6 mins I've seen in quite a while

This is quite possibly one of the funniest clips I've seen.... definitely the funniest clip from Who's Line I've ever seen. It's 6 mins long but oh sooooo worth it!

Our new kitten! We may call him Gizmo that's undecided as of yet. Suggestions welcome!

A lesbo dog called diamond :-)